One of the reasons why I started this blog was to enlist support from other mothers on their experiences raising Black Muslim children in America. I want to use this blog as a support group for like-minded individuals. Even though my Kid is 9, some aspects of parenting can still feel new and scary. I believe in the often quoted, origins unknown mythical African saying “It takes a village to raise a child”. I am not naive enough to believe that I can do this alone because I know I do not have all of the answers. I need the love, support, and guidance of those who have walked this path and those who are currently on it, for this journey to be a success.
On this #MuslimWomensDay and in this #WomensHistoryMonth, I want to take a moment and acknowledge some of the women who make up my village. These women are from a variety of different nationalities and backgrounds but they all have supported both me and the Kid.
1. Village Elder – Um Hamza always drops much needed Islamic knowledge. She has walked this path four times and has no problems admitting the times she has stumbled. I’ve watched her navigate the difficulties of raising practicing kids who in a public school environment. I saw first hand how she made Islam #1 in her house and with her family. One of the most important lessons, I learned from her is if you are going to deny your child something for the sake of Islam, then replace it with something else. She did not just say no to her children without giving them the Islamic reasons why they could not participate in certain activities. But then she would go one step farther, she would provide an Islamic alternative. For example, her children were not allowed to attend their high school’s proms but she did host a dress-up party for each one and invite their female friends for a night of dancing, singing, and fabulous foods.
2. Village Rock – Sana and I have been friends for the majority of my life. Her son and the Kid are born 3 hours apart so are kids tend to experience some of the same milestones at the same time. She is logical and practical providing her level headiness during the times I want to be irrational. I learned from her not to neglect the marital relationship for the parenting one. That one can not happily exist without the other. Both are important. That the marital relationship is as important as the parental one.
3. Village Heart – Hadiyah is the emotional member as she cares about people’s emotions, especially love. Instead of asking what you are doing, she asks how you are doing and patiently awaits the answer. She says mushy stuff and means it. When I’m freaking out about the Kid’s school situation, she reminds me that the most important thing is that she has a good foundation of love. See what I mean.
4. Village Pulse – Twanna and I both have 9-year-old Black girls so I constantly seek her guidance if I’m doing this right especially when it comes to picking the right schools and activities. She always knows the latest and hottest educational activity that our STEM girls would love. She is a huge proponent of educational based activities.
5. Village Legs – My older sister, Reena and my younger sister, Iman, keep me going. I go to them for everything, especially for their wisdom and laughter. All major and sometimes minor decisions are run by them. One of the few people the Kid feels comfortable with me telling her ‘personal business’ to and the people the Kid complains about me to.
These are just some of the special women in my community. Who are some of the women you want to acknowledge and celebrate today?
