As I alluded to in Hafsa: A Difficult Name, Hafsa is no longer attending the local Muslim school. We had several issues with the school, including how being in a predominate South Asian and Arab environment may affect her self-worth. We were also concerned about whether she was being challenged in her secular classes and the Islamic curriculum. In addition, the relationship between teacher and parent felt combative instead of collaborative. We are the kind of parents, who want to be involved and want to know what our child is learning. We received responses such as “your child will tell you what she’s learning” instead of weekly or monthly newsletters with such details.
At the end of the 2018 school year, we were frustrated and prayed that we can find a better environment for her. We completed several applications to schools in and outside our district. But “we plan and Allah plans, but Allah is the best of planners”. We applied to 6 schools across 3 different cities with the same results, waitlisted. But school was starting so begrudgingly, we mentally and physically prepared her to go back to the Muslim school because we had no other options.
Because we were out of options, we knew that we had to supplement education. She has been enrolled in Kumon since she was 3 and I enrolled her into a weekly writing class because of I am an English major, I know writing, note taking and grammar skills are important. We also got her a private Quran teacher to ensure that she increases her Quranic memorization.
We prayed that this year will be successful and left everything else in Allah’s hands. Praise be to Allah; both my brother and mother were able to make Hajj this year. Before they left, they asked us for a list of prayers that we wanted them to make on our behalf. We only asked for one thing: the best school for Hafsa. I sent my prayer request on a Monday and by Friday; we received notification that Hafsa was accepted into our #1 school choice. Praise be to Allah!
Instead of jumping for joy, my stomach was in knots because she had already started at the Muslim school. We were concerned there could be negative side effects for pulling her out after she had already started one school. We talked to several people, including Hafsa’s 3rd-grade teacher and they all had the same response, put her in the new school and see how we liked it. If it isn’t the best environment for her then she can always come back to the Muslim school. As with anything, we prayed about it and brought the supplies for the new school. We asked Hafsa her opinion since this decision affects her. She was okay with leaving the Muslim school and her friends because she said she can make new friends. Her only request was that we make a decision and stick to it. She doesn’t want to switch schools again until high school, which I understood.
Before she started at the school, we all prayed to ask for Allah’s guidance o help us select the best school for her. We attended the open house the Sunday before school started and were impressed that all of the teachers were certified, smaller class sizes, weekly communications from the Principal and teachers, the class website is updated weekly with the list of homework, clear list of behavioral and academic expectations that the students and parents can follow. This school is a charter but it is performing better than our district ran neighborhood public school. The teachers, administrations and student population are diverse and come from over 50 different countries. It is important to us that Hafsa is educated in a diverse environment with Black faces because it will provide her with positive role models and “learning from someone who looks like them can encourage them to engage more during class and aspire to want to make a positive impact on the world as adults. ”
Like all parents on Hafsa’s first day of school, we prayed that she would have a good day and that everything will go well. Later that afternoon, I picked Hafsa from school and before she even had both feet into the car, she exclaimed that she wanted to stay. I exhaled the breath that was stuck inside my chest since we received the acceptance letter on Friday and asked her why. She replied because she has a good feeling about the school and she had made a friend. She could not explain the good feeling only that felt good about the school. We decided to give it 3-4 days just in case she changed her mind or we did not feel comfortable about the environment before we officially un-enrolled her from the Muslim school. Every day her response was the same, she wanted to stay. She liked that they changed classes, went to the cafeteria for lunch, her teachers are sweet and funny. The only thing she did not like was that she had to wear a uniform again.
She has now been at the school for three weeks and overall we have no major complaints. There are a few things we have to get used to from switching from a Muslim environment to a non-Muslim one. Even though we had concerns about the religious studies at the Muslim school, she was receiving an Islamic education on a daily basis, which is valuable and cannot be replaced. I try to implement Islam in our everyday practice, including reciting the Quran on the way to school and listening to Islamic lectures on the way home. We also started family Islamic studies classes on Sundays, where each one of us will present a 10-15 minute topic of their choosing. She will still attend Quran class on Fridays and Saturdays. All of this does not replace the daily Islamic education and the ability to both pray and fast in school without feeling “other” and embarrassed. Right now, she prays at home but when the time of prayer is earlier we are going to ask for permission for her to pray at school during her lunch period. Because there are two other Muslim girls and one Muslim boy in her class, I plan on reaching out to them to see if their children want to join Hafsa in prayer to help alleviate her feeling like an outsider.
Because we are in North Carolina, this school starts every morning with the Pledge of Allegiance. Growing up Black and Muslim, neither my husband nor I, ever stood for the pledge in public school. My mother wrote to the Principal explaining that her Black babies will be sitting and there was never an issue. We were always taught that we only pledge to Allah. I explained to Hafsa what the pledge was and why we do not stand for it. Because she spent all of life at the Muslim schools, the only pledge she knew was the one at her Muslim school, which includes lines about I promise to follow the traditions of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), I will give my teachers, I will leave a legacy of love, peace, service and compassion, and parents the respect and gratitude which is their due and I pledge to myself, and bear witness that Qur’an will be my guide as. We discussed what she wanted to do because standing with hand over heart reciting the pledge was not an option. The solution was for her to put her hands behind her back and quietly recite a surah from the Quran as a silent protest.
She is no longer Black in Muslim school, now she’s Black and Muslim in a non-Muslim environment. I know that there will be other issues we will have to navigate including all of the non-Muslim holidays. We will continue to pray that she is in the best environment and is successful there. We pray that her experiences at the school are not filled with blatant racism, Islamophobia and microaggressions.
