Carefree Black Girl is a term that originated on Tumblr. Zeba Blay, Voices Cultural Writer at The Huffington Post, became the first person to use the phrase as a hashtag on Twitter in May 2013. It is a term that is used to celebrate Black girls and women. It has become a cute Instagram caption and a slogan for cute t-shirts. To me, it is more than that, it is a celebration and a rallying calls to live in the moment. To enjoy life and not to allow its struggles and the hardships defeat your spirit. It is a reminder, to love all parts of yourself despite how society can sometimes make you feel less than. But it does not mean you live in la-la land and ignore the microaggressions, racism, police brutality, or atrocities that happen both locally and globally. It acknowledges the burdens that we, as Black women and girls, face but also that we can be joyous and happy, too. That in spite of everything we suffer, we deserve the right to be happy.
This movement was an aha moment for me because this is how I’ve been trying to raise the Kid and reprogram myself. It was a helpful reminder that it is correct for the Kid to be joyful, that it is fine for her to continue to bounce when she walks or giggle just because. And that I can and should do the same, minus the bouncing when I walk. That joyfulness does not end in adulthood and that I do not have to allow the negative effects of racism and Islamophobia to alter my spirit. I want both the Kid and me to be #CarefreeBlackMuslimWomen and follow the example of the Prophet’s (SAW) character and personality. In describing the Prophet (SAW), narrated Ibn Jaz: “I have not seen anyone who smiled more than the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).”(Vol. 1, Book 46, Hadith 3641)
Four ways I’m raising a #CareFreeBlackMuslimGirl
1. Letting her make a mess
It is a creative outlet, allows for problem-solving and to see regular items differently, a shoe box can become a dollhouse or diorama. Or by mixing a few ingredients, you can make your own purple glitter slime. Or what happens if you add shaving cream to the slime, it becomes fluffy. Or that old shirts can become headbands for both adults and baby dolls. The only rule we have is the person who makes the mess, cleans it.
2. Valuing her opinions
Allowing her the option to use her voice and express her position. I may not always agree with everything but I give her the space to say it. She is allowed to share her truth even if it means telling me that her feelings were hurt when I was rushing her to get dressed. She is even allowed to question why I do certain things, like rush her. We are trying to teach her that both she and her opinions matter. We are trying to teach her how to be confident in vocalizing her opinions. She is taught that no one has rights over your body, including her voice.
3. Respecting her personality
Recently, the Kid wanted to know if it was okay for her to be excited about getting a Polaroid camera for Eid. She also wanted to know if I was annoyed because she was too excited. I let her know that being happy and excited about something is admirable. This short conversation was a reminder to me to not allow my jaded personality to negatively affect her. Even though we are mother and daughter, who share a lot of similarities, she is her own person with a different whimsical personality. She needs us to acknowledge and appreciate who she is becoming, which will be great for her self-esteem.
4. Love herself just the way Allah made her
Most importantly, for her to love everything about herself because that is the way Allah made her. She asked me if her laugh is annoying. I replied no because that is the laugh Allah gave you. My advice to her is as long as Allah loves it then it does not matter what I or anyone else thinks.
To me, the #Carefreeblackgirl represents more than natural hair and taking good photos in natural sunlight. It is a movement that allows you to just exist in your own joy, to twirl instead of walking and not feel that you have to conform to anyone’s idea of Black, Muslim or both. It allows you to just be and that is the feeling I want for myself and the Kid. It is especially important for our daughters to be raised to love all parts of themselves so they can grow into confident adults.
With #CarefreeBlackGirl, it acknowledges the freedom that you can give yourself to live, exist and be happy. If she wants to twirl until she gets dizzy then do I just give her enough space to do it.
