Book Review: Understand Your Child’s Development: For the Muslim Parent

Quick Look

Book: Understand Your Child’s Development: For the Muslim Parent
Authors: Jameela Ho, Irna Fathurrubayah, Weronica Ozpolat, Nabila Ikram, Afshan Mohammed, and Hannah Morris
Published: June 16, 2019
Pages: 118
Genre: Islamic Non-Fiction
Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Review

I was asked by Djarabi Kitabs Publishing to review Understand Your Child’s Development: For the Muslim Parent by Jameela Ho, Irna Fathurrubayah, Weronica Ozpolat, Nabila Ikram, Afshan Mohammed, and Hannah Morris. I was not compensated for this review. I immediately accepted their review request because I’m interested in learning about parenting from an Islamic perspective. The purpose of this book is for parents to get a greater understanding of the emotional and physical changes their child will go through at different stages of their childhood.

In the first chapter, the two major cognitive development theories, Piaget and Vygostsky are discussed. Piaget’s four stages of age development and how they relate to cognitive thinking skills are: the Sensorimotor stage ( 0 to 2 years), the Preoperational stage (2 to7 years), the Concrete Operational stage (7 to 11 years) and Formal Operational stage (11+ years). It is important for parents to know about the stages because they “can play an important role in providing an enriching environment and varied experiences” (7). Detail descriptions, actions for parents and activities to do with the child are provided for each stage. Vygostsky’s theory of Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD) was explained as “is the difference between what the learner can do by himself and what he can do with help. This is the area that teachers, parents, tutors, siblings and others work in when they help someone to learn.” What differentiates this book from other books on child development is the authors’ inclusion of relevant hadiths and ayahs. Jameela Ho, author of chapter 1, included Islamic evidence that it is a part of our Islamic traditions to teach within the ZPD as that is what the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) did with the companions.

I found myself charting which of the eight types of intelligence my family, friends and I fit into in Chapter 2, Facilitating Intelligence by Irna Fathurrubayah. For the record, I’m a mix between Verbal-linguistic and Intrapersonal. Chapter 3 by Weronika Ozpolat breaks down in layman terms the difference between speech and language. A lot of Muslim parents are bilingual but are afraid to speak the mother’s tongue at home because it may cause speech and language delays. But ” bilingual children do not have a significant chance of having delayed speech and language” (54). Physical development is an important part of a child’s development. Nabila Ikram’s Chapter 4, explains how play-based learning is important to the development and provides budget-friendly activities to do with your child from infancy to teenage. Our children will not be able to play or learn if they have poor nutrition. In Chapter 5, Afshan Mohammed what constitutes Islamic nutrition and the Sunnah of the etiquette of eating. I’m trying to strengthen Hafsa and my emotional health, I was really interested in reading Chapter 6, Fostering Emotional Development, by Jameela Ho. I learned how to establish secure attachment from infancy and what parents should do to ensure children are empathic to others. God Willing, we will start emotional coaching, a “parenting tool that teaches your child to recognize, understand and handle his feelings” (98), which will help Hafsa name her emotions and for me to listen without interpreting her feelings. As Muslims our moral compass is Islam. In Chapter 7, Cultivating Morality by Hanna Morris, I’m reminded that “key to good conduct and morality lies in a strong relation with Allah جل جلاله who knows the intentions behind all actions. Therefore, when we keep Allah جل جلاله in mind at all times and in all intentions, we will behave with the best moral character” (98).

Even though this book is directed toward Muslim parents, I think it will be helpful for teachers, administrators, and anyone who interacts with children on a routine basis because it provides a roadmap for how children develop. If you are worried that some prior child development knowledge is a prerequisite for reading Understand Your Child’s Development: For the Muslim Parent because the concepts and terms may be over your head, it is not. The information was provided in an informal tone and was accompanied by charts, which made it easier to digest. Each author’s chapter corresponds to their area of expertise. For example, Afshan Mohammed has both her undergraduate and master degrees in nutrition, she also worked with 4 years with children who have diabetes, so she uses her expertise to write the chapter on promoting healthy nutrition.

There were several references made to view additional information and tips on the author’s personal blog. Personally, I would have preferred that related information shared within pages of the book. I also think the advice given to parents for establishing/reinforcing the household rules to be too simple. “He needs to clean his room because Muslims are clean. He needs to do the household chores because families are made of people who share the workload and work together” (17). This idea is great in an ideal world but does not fit with the contrary nature of some teenagers.

In spite of those two issues, Understand Your Child’s Development: For the Muslim Parent is a wealth of information and tips. As a parent, the more information I have, the better teacher and role model I can be for Hafsa. Also, the better we can help them navigate the world and help them become an effective adult.

Gems

“If you haven’t give your child a solid foundation in Islam then he will question the validity of his acts of worship. Be ready with the reasons behind Islamic concepts and acts. Know your Islam. Teach him the reasons.” – Page 31
“An important thing to remember is not to tie your child’s allowance
with the chores and tasks that he or she has to do. This is because your
child may perceive those tasks as a paid-job rather than his or her own
responsibility within the family.” – Page 38
“Ali ibn Abi Talib is reported to have said, “Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).” For the first seven years, the early childhood years, the focus is on teaching children social skills, manners and etiquette, through playing and simply letting children be children. For the next seven years, more formal education is encouraged, both academically and spiritually. The final seven years, or adolescence, parents are encouraged to involve their children in their affairs by keeping them by their side, asking for their opinions, and respecting them as autonomous individuals, while still advising them with wisdom, all of which
prepares them for the real world.” – Page 64
“It is highly beneficial for you to keep in mind that play has been encouraged in the Islamic tradition, as well as in modern research.” Pages 73-74
“In order to help your child feel comfortable in their bodies, first start
off with noticing how you talk about your own body in front of them… Explain to your child that Allah جل جلاله has made all of us beautiful and we are beautiful in His eyes. Explain that the way the media portrays celebrities is not the right view and, from childhood, tell them the stories of the prophets, pious men and women, sahabas, and sahabiat and their strengths.” (Page 82)
“Validate your child’s emotions and let him feel it by describing how he feels.” (Page 96)