Being Black in a Muslim School

It was barely 5 minutes into our 30-minute drive home from school, when the kid that is in our carpool announced that there is a Confederate flag in the school’s library. I keep my tone causal because I do not want to scare him or Hafsa and I need answers without them thinking I’m upset or blaming them. I ask questions after questions to figure out where it is and importantly if it really is “the flag” and not a state flag. He told me that it is the library next to the 3rd-grade projects. I question him again because he must be confusing this flag with another. But he confidentially responds that he knows what the flag looks like.

I’m completely shocked but do not want to jump to anger so I decide to email the school librarian and cc the principal. I ensure that my email’s tone is neutral because I do not want to come off as the ‘Angry Black Woman’. My email is only two sentences because I’m only looking for confirmation and explanation. Thankfully, she responded the same day but her response was disrespectful, condescending, and flip. She actually said that she didn’t see any harm and “I am sorry if you were offended in any way”. She also said ‘We all need to have a clear understanding so this does not get out of hand.” I went from shock and slightly annoyed to my body throbbing in anger and frustration.

I immediately sent a follow-up email explaining why the Confederate flag was offensive and how it should not have been on display regardless of the reasons. Of course, I could not respond with the same disheartening tone I received, I had to be calm and cool. I had to let them know because they didn’t see it being offensive and unnecessary. The project could have been completed without displaying the flag. I had to become Mrs. Google and inform them of the offensiveness of the flag. The responsibility was on me, the offended to educate these offenders as to why it was offensive and how its display can negatively affect their Black student population. It was even more aggravating that I had to explain why this was problematic because they couldn’t see it. It did not register to them because of their privilege allowed them to only see it as part of the ‘3rd grade’s project on The Civil War’. I had to explain that this flag and its display in any context are offensive and a harsh reminder to the Black students of racial prejudice and brutality. Just like a swastika will not be on display on International Holocaust Remembrance Day neither should the flag. I acknowledged that the school continues to diversify its student body; however, greater attention should be given to how symbols of oppression are displayed and how the staff’s personals preferences affect its students.

I received a thank you for your valuable response but the damage was done. My trust was gone and this was another harsh reality that raising my Black child in a Muslim school will not protect all of her. I had to jump on this because I was not just protecting my child but all of the Black children who attended and will attend this school. To me, this is just becoming another example of how Muslim schools can fail their Black students. As a graduate of a Muslim school and daughter of a Muslim school teacher, I’m aware of how the focus in Muslim schools tends to slant pro-Arab, pro-Desi or both. Generally, Muslim schools need to do a better job of educating themselves on issues outside of their ethnicities. They need to acknowledge their privileges and grasp that Black Muslims exist. They need to understand that being a minority within a minority can be difficult especially for children.

I refuse to allow my Black daughter to be in an environment that could do her harm or misinform her. I told my husband that night that will be militant when it comes to our child. I will not give anyone regardless of religious affiliation an inch because they will take it a mile. I would gladly play the ‘Angry Black Woman’ stereotype if it means protecting my black daughter. Both the teachers and the principal needed to understand that I will not allow my child or any other child to be mistreated or put in a problematic learning environment. I think I may have uttered the phrase, “I’m not the one” while explaining the situation to my husband. They need to know that my child has an involved mother who is watching them and they need to be on their toes. That I will not tolerate any level of disrespect aimed at me or the other Black children at the school. That their actions have consequences and them at any time I see or am told about something that I will immediately speak up.

It makes me feel that this Muslim school may not be the best place for my Black child. If they cannot see how displaying the Confederate flag is offensive, what else are they not seeing. How are they going to affect her identify, and will it be all negative? This also served as a good lesson for the Kid because not only did I have to explain in greater detailed what the Confederate flag meant and the atrocities that were committed under its brand. I also showed my child that it is okay to stand up to authority and that her voice and opinions are important no matter how old she is. But it was also a reminder that sometimes the most Islamic environment may not be the safest emotional space for our Black children.

Currently, we are in the process of applying to other schools in the area, none are Muslims schools. We are debating whether we want to keep the Kid at this school past this year. We are not happy with the level of both Islamic and secular education. I will be detailing our experience including the frustration and hopefully success in finding a new school for the Kid in a series of post. I would love to hear your experience in choosing the right school for your children especially if you picked a Muslim school over public/private. What factors lead to your decision? Did you attend a Muslim school yourself? Were you happy with your experience?